I Ate At A Portland-area Chick-fil-A, I Hated It

Last week I was compelled to go to the Chick-fil-A near Clackamas Town Center. I was sitting in Popeyes and couldn’t help but wonder how Chick-fil-A stacked up against, from my perspective, the best chicken joint on Earth. So I soon found myself catching a Greenline MAX train to its terminus at Clackamas Town Center.

While approaching my destination, which is a short walk from the MAX station, I noticed a steady stream of drive-thru traffic. “Popular place,” I mumbled to myself as I inched closer to my destination.

When I stepped inside ,the first thing I noticed was how out of place I, a party of one, must have seemed to the families inside. As I scanned the menu, trying to decide what I wanted, I quickly settled on chicken wings. Popeyes has good chicken wings, so I figured this would give me a good indication as to how Chick-Fil-A chicken compares to Popeyes chicken.

The most uninspired chicken on record

It turns out that Chick-fil-A chicken also comes with fries. This pairing did not strike me as natural, and I had never had fries with my chicken at Popeyes–but then again I never took the time to ask about fries.

What I saw next compelled me to blurt “what the hell?” out loud. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it was not the small, uninspired pile of bland looking chicken that the Chick-fil-A employee sat down in front of me. It did not resemble the decadent Popeyes chicken that I had come to crave on a regular basis. This was the most basic looking chicken I’d ever seen. And coupled with the BBQ sauce provided (I’d already used the honey mustard for the fries), the chicken was merely OK. I never use sauce on my Popeyes chicken, and so I felt like I was having to dress this chicken up in order to address its inadequacies. This, combined with the fact that Chick-fil-A appears to be a haven for loud and unruly children, assured me that I will not be returning until that point in time, if ever, that I have loud and unruly children of my own.